Thursday, December 20, 2007

Bears are yummy, a Rant.

You know, its cold outside. Really, really cold outside. Okay, not as cold out as it is at my Parent's home in Minnesota, but its pretty darned cold.

So, this got me thinking. Mainly about polar bears and walruses. In a large part, about how a nice polar bear skin rug would keep my feet warm and how walrus skins would make a great waterproof jacket for sailing, not to mention attractive scrimshaw home decorations. And of course, this got me thinking about "global warming".

My initial thought on the whole "global warming" "debate" (the Goracle, after all, said the debate was over, and who are we to question our betters?) is just a little something I learned in science class, growing up by the shore of Lake Superior. You know, the lake that was actually carved more than a third of a mile deep into solid bedrock by a sheet of ice more than a mile thick?

Anyhow, I was thinking, that it has been only 3 million years since the last ice age, which geologically speaking, isn't that long. It's been only 10,000 years since the last glaciation period. Wouldn't that make this kind of a climatological "spring"? Aren't things due to get warmer? I mean, wasn't most of the earth, at one time, forested and jungled, and ice free? I mean, didn't even Antarctica once have forests on it?

Now, admittedly, I'm not a climatologist. But before you discredit all of my thoughts on this, I am an engineer. As an engineer, I get things right more often on a daily basis than any weatherman has in the history of mankind. That's not a bad track record, no?

Think on this: Why is it called "forecasting"? Even the name hearkens back to reading the entrails of an animal for signs of the future.

Anyhow, now that I've established why I feel I'm as qualified as any politically sponsored U.N. hack to talk on the subject, I continue.

Why, exactly, besides the desire of some wackos who think the continued existence of one of the only natural predators of humans is global warming such a big deal? Won't that create a lot more arable land? Won't previously un-inhabitable tracts of the globe become welcoming to humans? At the expense of what? A handful of bears, penguins and lichens? Big whoop de do. The same people who have the little Darwin bumper stickers on their car are now bitching that polar bears can't adapt? Huh. Survival of the fittest, eco-nut. Besides, they have them in zoos, and lately, its looking like we can clone them if we want more. If we want more of a 1,300 pound, 10 foot long apex predator running around.

Sea levels will rise you say? "So?" I respond. Having been in the navy for a large portion of my adult life, I can attest to the fact that most of the places that will be affected by this are well deserving of a flood. You won't be laughing at "fly-over country" when you have to move inland. Get off my lawn, hippie!

In the long run, though, I don't think we will need to worry about it for very long. It would appear that the climatologists in Iran and Israel will probably take care of it before too long. You "Millennials" or "Gen-Next'ers" might not remember this term, but a quick Google tell you all you need to know about the solution we invented for global warming in the twilight of the cold war: Nuclear Winter.

No comments: