Friday, September 10, 2010

Obama Is Your Lousy New Boyfriend

This was posted by Harvey at IMOA on Sept. 9 and is just too great not to pass along.

It’s 2 years into Obama’s first term, and it took me almost 2 years to realize something. A huge revelation. I realized it while I was listening to his Iraq speech the other night, during which Obama was sure to dig into President Bush (just a little).

What I realized was that I have dated this guy before. Obama is like the new boyfriend who is absolutely obsessed with your ex-boyfriend. And he spends most of his time trashing your old boyfriend for no real reason, other than he’s insecure and pre-pubescent and doesn’t really know how to behave in an adult relationship. So he complains about your ex-boyfriend incessantly, and tells you that your life is a mess now because of him, that he was a loser, and what were you doing with him all those years?

And he hates all the gifts he ever gave you, he doesn’t like it when you wear those earrings your ex-boyfriend gave you 5 years ago. And that TV you and your ex-boyfriend bought is a piece of crap, and he’s going to get you a new one – a better one – even though you really like the old TV and it works just fine.

And he’s going to make your life infinitely better – as soon as he stops whining about your ex-boyfriend. And he’s the best thing that ever happened to you – even though you’re not sure why. And if you don’t appreciate all that he does for you, then maybe you should just go back to your dumb ex-boyfriend, because you’re kind of dumb, too.

I gotta tell ya, this boyfriend – the Obama boyfriend – is the most annoying boyfriend ever. And a very short time into dating him, you realize this. It’s an “aha!” moment that makes you think, “what the hell was I thinking?”

You think, “well, he was good-looking, he talks a good game, smart, charming – but he’s a man-child, and he’s changing my life irreparably just because he hates my ex-boyfriend. And I don’t really WANT to change my life irreparably. I’m thinking my life’s pretty good, and I just want to share it with someone supportive. I don’t need to be taken care of, I just want someone who GETS me.”

The problem, I just realized during this Iraq speech, is Obama doesn’t get me. And he doesn’t get you either. But in the process of insisting that he is the best thing ever to happen to you, he’s going to make us all pretty darn miserable.

And suddenly that ex-boyfriend isn’t looking like such a bad guy after all.